Driving Corpses for Money

The following is an excerpt from Brandon Christopher’s book ‘The Job Pirate: An Entertaining Tale of my Job-Hopping Journey in America’.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #17 The Interview

The begin of any descent into the world of retail always starts with two simple words: Job interview.

Lara Croft of the Kabubble

Larger-than-life characters and daily life as a journalist in the surreal world of Kabul, Afghanistan.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #16 The First Day

After this, I was handed over to a department, given a walkie talkie with which to communicate and told to work. The department I received first? Men, shoes and baby. Seems I could not escape shoes even if I tried.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #15 Injuries in the Workplace

So what did I learn from all of this? First and foremost, do not get hurt at work, just rub some dirt on it, walk it off and pretend as if nothing happened, because that is exactly what everyone else is going to do in regards to your case and situation.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #14 The Time Clock

In a perceived act of corporate evil, it seems that the time clock at work is operating on a different wavelength from the rest of the world. Time for Brian Brehmer.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #13 The Customers

In his column, Retail Tales, Brian Brehmer looks at the essential, but often unpredictable, aspect of retail: the customers.

Losing It: Four Cautionary Tales of Travel

In a series of ill goings-on across a life spent travelling the length and breadth of the world, Frank Sonderborg recounts a few cautionary travellers tales.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #12 The 5 Hour Meeting

Called in on his day off with the promise of over-time pay, Brian Brehmer finds himself at a pointless, five-hour meeting for the photo department. Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer.

Time Your Blackouts Better

After a blackout leads to a serious car accident. Gary Hartley opens up on depression, Middle England, and perception in this introspective piece.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #11 The Annual Review

After a year of mind-numbing repetition, Brian faces up to the enticing prospect of reflecting on his actions in the annual review. Retail Tales, with Brian Brehmer.

Working in a Canning Factory

I took a job in a factory that cans peas, a less than rosy introduction to the working world.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #10 The Worst Jobs

The soul-crushing tasks that make up the world of working in retail. Whether it’s mopping up sewage, or taking babies’ passport photos, you can count on Brian Brehmer to take you through the worst jobs.

The Summer I Dated a Drag Queen

I went to London with trashy dreams, expecting to finally have the sexually free gay experience. I dated a drag queen one summer but it didn’t work out.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #9 The Employee Handbook

The employee handbook. Time to knuckle down and get ready to give everything, even your life, for the multi-national corporation in which you work. This is the nature of retail. This is Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #8 Muzak

A voyage into the world of unintentional music today. Maybe you don’t notice the music, or muzak, that plays away while you shop. Why would you? Well, the workers do, believe you me. Retail tales with Brian Brehmer is back. It’s time for ‘Retail Tales’.


Dole Life: Part Two

The Jobcentre can be an ugly place. Steven Bradbury follows up his experience of trying to get on the dole in austerity Britain with the second instalment of ‘Dole Life’.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #7 The Break Room

Eager to escape from the drudgery of the floor, Brian Brehmer heads for the supposed sanctuary of the break room, only to be greeted with anything but the tranquility he desired.

The Job Interview

Skint but with the mouth-watering prospect of working as a potwash in the local pub, famous for its aroma of old farts, Holly Watson reluctantly goes to a job interview.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #6 The Award

Don’t you hate the corporate drivel? They give you an award for all the time you have spent earning very little while making the company so much richer. When they take your time and your dignity to boot, then it’s time for Brian Brehmer.

Dole Life Part One: What you have to do for £50 a week

What you have to do for £50 a week in Britain. This is British life on the dole. Steven Bradbury gives Talking Soup the inside scoop on a life of Job Seeker’s Allowance.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #5 Dumpster Divers

The day to day machinations of the retail industry as told by insider, Brian Brehmer. In the latest in his series, Brian recalls some of the brilliantly bogus refund claims brought about by the infamous ‘Dumpster Divers’.

How to Sell Wine

Not everyone who drinks wine has any idea what the fuck they’re drinking. I sell wine and these are the things that piss me off about the job.

Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #4 Employee of the Month

In an attempt to appease the downtrodden workers, management tries to push the ‘Employee of the Month’ scheme with limited success. Welcome to ‘Brian Brehmer’s Retail Tales’.