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The Living Dead
Nanny Pam and me are watching This Morning; there’s a woman on talking about how she’s been cheating on her husband with a ghost. The TV presenter asks if she has ever been intimate with the ghost. Nanny Pam stares at the TV while her Rich Tea biscuit breaks off into her coffee.
Children Are The Future
People claim to hate their job, many people do and those who say they don’t are either lying, or worse still, the most unimaginative imbeciles that our sick society has created in its desire to consume. I fall into the first category of hate, pure and simple.
The Last Day of Term
Last week David pulled his pants down in the class and farted in another boy’s face. David farts all the time. He loves the smell and sound of his own farts as do the rest of the class, chortling away when he breaks wind for the tenth time in the hour. David is also a racist, making Chinese eyes or calling the Latin-Americans dirty monkeys. David is 13 years old. There’s not much of a positive spin you can put on that ergo the utter bollocks above.
Things I Haven’t Said
Michael Herrington recalls his childhood of growing up with a stutter. Commonly misunderstood, living with a speech impediment can affect you in many ways often invisible to the listener.
How to Make it in Modern Art
Making it in the world of modern art is tough. Want the insider’s guide to artistic super-stardom? Here are some secrets of the trade that will capitulate you to be the next Damien Hirst.