Posts by tag
funny
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: Inclement Weather
Brian Brehmer goes into the absurd world of retail in conditions of inclement weather. Tornado? Hurricane? Snow? You’d better believe you are expected to clock in.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: The Transfer
Brian Brehmer is torn from the relative comfort of his store to be transferred to another, then another, then another. It can only be Retail tales.
Cocktail Night
From friendship to growing up, Esther Hope Arthurson gives us a snippet on life on cocktail night.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: Inventory
Brian Brehmer describes the utter soul-destroying misery of an inventory in the world of retail.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: A Visit from Corporate
When a nameless corporate stooge comes to check the shop, Brian Brehmer and the retail crew attempt to appease the managerial presence.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: The Job Application
Retail veteran, Brian Brehmer, looks into the life-sapping questions on a standard job application form. It can only be Retail Tales.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #17 The Interview
The begin of any descent into the world of retail always starts with two simple words: Job interview.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #16 The First Day
After this, I was handed over to a department, given a walkie talkie with which to communicate and told to work. The department I received first? Men, shoes and baby. Seems I could not escape shoes even if I tried.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #14 The Time Clock
In a perceived act of corporate evil, it seems that the time clock at work is operating on a different wavelength from the rest of the world. Time for Brian Brehmer.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #13 The Customers
In his column, Retail Tales, Brian Brehmer looks at the essential, but often unpredictable, aspect of retail: the customers.
Losing It: Four Cautionary Tales of Travel
In a series of ill goings-on across a life spent travelling the length and breadth of the world, Frank Sonderborg recounts a few cautionary travellers tales.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #11 The Annual Review
After a year of mind-numbing repetition, Brian faces up to the enticing prospect of reflecting on his actions in the annual review. Retail Tales, with Brian Brehmer.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #10 The Worst Jobs
The soul-crushing tasks that make up the world of working in retail. Whether it’s mopping up sewage, or taking babies’ passport photos, you can count on Brian Brehmer to take you through the worst jobs.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #7 The Break Room
Eager to escape from the drudgery of the floor, Brian Brehmer heads for the supposed sanctuary of the break room, only to be greeted with anything but the tranquility he desired.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #5 Dumpster Divers
The day to day machinations of the retail industry as told by insider, Brian Brehmer. In the latest in his series, Brian recalls some of the brilliantly bogus refund claims brought about by the infamous ‘Dumpster Divers’.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #4 Employee of the Month
In an attempt to appease the downtrodden workers, management tries to push the ‘Employee of the Month’ scheme with limited success. Welcome to ‘Brian Brehmer’s Retail Tales’.
Talking Soup Talks #2: Leah Mueller
Our editors sit down with writer and performer, Leah Mueller, to discuss her plethora of life experiences. Inspired by the likes of Don Marquis, Charles Bukowski and many more commentators of the underside of the American dream, Leah brings a great wealth of tales, from the crazy to the tragic. From working as a ‘sales clown’ in 1980s Chicago, to a short lived stint as a topless dancer in New Orleans, Leah’s writing takes in all aspects of American daily life, from the dead-end jobs to the humanity in mundanity.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #3 Stealing
Apart from the obvious crime of stealing employee time, Brian Brehmer, retail worker extraordinaire, talks about the weird and wonderful acts of theft that he has seen while working in retail.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #2 Returning Condoms
Brian Brehmer is back with another crazy tale from the world of retail. In this episode, a female customer attempts to breach store policy by returning some condoms.
The Joys of Field Testing Agricultural Equipment
Our resident factotum, Brian Brehmer, opens up the oeuvre of his work experience. This time he recounts the inherent joys of working as a field tester for agricultural machinery firm, Briggs and Stratton.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #1 Eleven Years of Selling Shoes at Kmart
Brian Brehmer tells the inside story of 11 years of selling shoes in that most American of institutions, Kmart. Expect exploitation, pointless management, poor pay and a nod to the death of an American ideal.
Stupidly, I Knowingly Broke Quarantine in Spain and was Instantly Apprehended by Police
Robert Locke, a temporarily unemployed travel company representative, woefully disregards government quarantine regulations and takes to the streets in his adopted home of Malaga, only to be arrested almost immediately.
The Joys of Boys
In a new series on parenthood, Yvonne Hardman, 45-year-old mother of three teenage boys, gives us a stark but witty warning about what is in store for any potential parents.
In Search of 53 German Student Girls
The dance that night was in a converted cinema. We sat in the front row seats and watched the natives giving it, like it was 1919. Country and western was big in the hinterlands back in the day. Sugary sweet songs of the poor emigrant Paddy in his bed-sit in London, pining for his golden haired girlfriend and his silver haired mother while he drank himself into a stupor.
