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america
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #14 The Time Clock
In a perceived act of corporate evil, it seems that the time clock at work is operating on a different wavelength from the rest of the world. Time for Brian Brehmer.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #13 The Customers
In his column, Retail Tales, Brian Brehmer looks at the essential, but often unpredictable, aspect of retail: the customers.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #12 The 5 Hour Meeting
Called in on his day off with the promise of over-time pay, Brian Brehmer finds himself at a pointless, five-hour meeting for the photo department. Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #11 The Annual Review
After a year of mind-numbing repetition, Brian faces up to the enticing prospect of reflecting on his actions in the annual review. Retail Tales, with Brian Brehmer.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #10 The Worst Jobs
The soul-crushing tasks that make up the world of working in retail. Whether it’s mopping up sewage, or taking babies’ passport photos, you can count on Brian Brehmer to take you through the worst jobs.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #9 The Employee Handbook
The employee handbook. Time to knuckle down and get ready to give everything, even your life, for the multi-national corporation in which you work. This is the nature of retail. This is Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #8 Muzak
A voyage into the world of unintentional music today. Maybe you don’t notice the music, or muzak, that plays away while you shop. Why would you? Well, the workers do, believe you me. Retail tales with Brian Brehmer is back. It’s time for ‘Retail Tales’.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #7 The Break Room
Eager to escape from the drudgery of the floor, Brian Brehmer heads for the supposed sanctuary of the break room, only to be greeted with anything but the tranquility he desired.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #6 The Award
Don’t you hate the corporate drivel? They give you an award for all the time you have spent earning very little while making the company so much richer. When they take your time and your dignity to boot, then it’s time for Brian Brehmer.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #5 Dumpster Divers
The day to day machinations of the retail industry as told by insider, Brian Brehmer. In the latest in his series, Brian recalls some of the brilliantly bogus refund claims brought about by the infamous ‘Dumpster Divers’.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #4 Employee of the Month
In an attempt to appease the downtrodden workers, management tries to push the ‘Employee of the Month’ scheme with limited success. Welcome to ‘Brian Brehmer’s Retail Tales’.
Talking Soup Talks #2: Leah Mueller
Our editors sit down with writer and performer, Leah Mueller, to discuss her plethora of life experiences. Inspired by the likes of Don Marquis, Charles Bukowski and many more commentators of the underside of the American dream, Leah brings a great wealth of tales, from the crazy to the tragic. From working as a ‘sales clown’ in 1980s Chicago, to a short lived stint as a topless dancer in New Orleans, Leah’s writing takes in all aspects of American daily life, from the dead-end jobs to the humanity in mundanity.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #3 Stealing
Apart from the obvious crime of stealing employee time, Brian Brehmer, retail worker extraordinaire, talks about the weird and wonderful acts of theft that he has seen while working in retail.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #2 Returning Condoms
Brian Brehmer is back with another crazy tale from the world of retail. In this episode, a female customer attempts to breach store policy by returning some condoms.
The Joys of Field Testing Agricultural Equipment
Our resident factotum, Brian Brehmer, opens up the oeuvre of his work experience. This time he recounts the inherent joys of working as a field tester for agricultural machinery firm, Briggs and Stratton.
Retail Tales with Brian Brehmer: #1 Eleven Years of Selling Shoes at Kmart
Brian Brehmer tells the inside story of 11 years of selling shoes in that most American of institutions, Kmart. Expect exploitation, pointless management, poor pay and a nod to the death of an American ideal.
Land of Eternal Thirst
Bisbee, Arizona. Leah Mueller talks of family, loss and going back to what you have always known.
Standing Appointments
In a powerful piece, Ramona Long reflects on her mother’s death from Covid-19, and looks back at her relationship with the beauty shop, one of the few all-female spaces in a male-dominated world.
Her Last Hurrah
As his mother-in-law’s mental health deteriorates, Jim Ross finds himself faced with the difficult tasks of looking after a loved one with dementia.
Parent’s Day
As part of a new series on parenthood, Dee Caples takes a look at the huge perspective shift from childhood to adulthood, and debates what parts to keep and what to throw out when we raise our own children.
Finding Old Friends
In our adversarial society where politics seem to triumph over personal connections and even common sense, finding old friends seems almost anachronistic. Historical relationships provides the promise of glue that keeps us joined to our own lives. Connectivity offers hope in an uncertain world.
Ice Cream, Whiskey, and Rain
My vacation condo’s washer/dryer combination is tiny and inefficient, so I launder my comforters ten miles away at the decrepit Maple Fuels Wash-a-Ton. The old-school machines don’t take credit cards, only quarters. It takes a lot of quarters to wash a pile of gamey comforters. Since my mortgage and HOA fees are high, I have to rent my place to overnighters through Air Bnb. The guests are often careless, spilling wine and body fluids willy-nilly on the bedclothes.
The Stabbing Factory
He slashed at me a few times – I can’t say for certain how close he got, but when you can feel the air move because of the swipe, the blade is too close – but mostly he stood in place making these hesitant jerking jabs. He kept saying, “Come on, I’ll stab you. Come on”, as if it were somehow my responsibility to move closer to him. Perhaps that’s the way things work, I don’t know, this was my first knife fight, and frankly it was a bit unfair, I didn’t have a knife.
Talking Soup book reviews ‘Fiesta: The Sun Also Rises’ Ernest Hemingway
So far, complex titles ranging from the heart wrenching narratives of Baldwin to the mind-expanding prose of LeGuin have been met with such turns of phrase as ‘it was alright’ or ‘it was good’. Now, given that the English language is prone to the kind of linguistic flare afforded to it by an unequalled vocabulary and system of expressions, I feel I could do more justice to these totemic works of literature than my long-suffering missus has hitherto been privy. Clear? Then on with the show.